I’m always nervous when she is in a good mood. She draws too much attention to herself. And us. I’m standing next to her but a few paces apart. I can see a tree, and I can see her former boyfriend hanging from the tree by his wrists. She’s wrapping herself back up in a deep, dark coat covering up the black lingerie she wore to entice this fool. And then, with one ridiculous heel braced against the oil drum, she kicks it away and This Boy dangles like a trouserless pinata…. his dick already beginning to tumble in panic like a demolished tower block.
She has a knife in her pocket and it’s already out. This is both good and bad. If she shows the blade early it means The Boy will almost certainly return home with the rest of him, but on the flip side she is in the mood for fun. And any second now a passing dog walker is going to stroll past and start asking questions. And I have my own blade, hidden and considerably sharper than hers, to deal with intrusions.
Whilst they – whilst she – talks, I sit down on a nearby rock, like a grey island amidst the thistles and weeds. The wind hisses and waves through the grass that seems to charge in unison towards this weird public execution. There’s dog shit on my shoes, my jeans, under my armpits and behind my ears. It’s been an odd day.
I should get out of this. I tell myself every day. But within her sphere life isn’t boring and sex is dangerous. A sniff of her greasy hair flecked with pollen and dandruff and I’m hopeless. To see her squatting, shitting in a field is divine. People may laugh, but then they end up like This Boy. Kicking and fretting about the loss of his insignificant sexual vegetables.
Her eyes are orange, thin black pupils over a pair of deep autumn suns. She always has plans… and strategies and I wonder if she shouldn’t be in the military, or as a modern day Boudicca, riding a tank into a warzone with a sword in the air and a pair of goggles to protect from the diesel smoke.
It always begins like this; we’re going to do something nice and normal, like go and get pizza from Earl the street vendor, but we ‘happen’ to meet up with her ex; and for a while we sit and we eat pizza and she tells us stories about each other and our failings, and I haven’t even asked why a black trenchcoat in June?; and then she suggests a walk out to the fields and beyond to the wasteland, and by now I’m trying to mouth to her ex that this is a bad idea; but he’s cock of the walk right now, especially when she turns to me and tells me to fuck off but with a knowing wink that he cannot see; so I do go away to give her the five or ten minutes she needs to string up this silly boy and prepare him for the entertainment…
…and as I’m walking away, knowing I will return soon I think, there she goes again with those flawless Tangerine Eyes.