In the dream, she walks behind me as I stand in front of something impossible, trying to find my way around it. She wraps her tentacles around my waist with a squeeze and I feel her breath on the back of my neck. My hair, and everything else, stands to immediate and obediant attention. When did I get so submissive? I feel her breasts pressing into my ribcage and her heartbeat thumps against my spine, playing the bones like a xylophone. I can feel the nerves dancing in my heels.
Nothing is impossible inside your forcefield. Wearing you like a rucksack, with your arms wrapped around my neck and your legs hooked under my arms we flatten mountains and part seas. We stomp across suspension bridges, leaving rippling waves that send cars and coaches flying into the air and over the edge. We reduce cathedrals into dust and snort an ecclesiastical line or two from our forearms. Your long scarlett red hair hisses like serpents and cuts like a molten whip, slicing through the forearms and necks of any fool who steps in our way. We collect limbs like pennies in a casino flattened by a tornado.
I offer impossible things, because I like it when you bite my ear in irritation. One day, we walk into the sea with our pockets full of rocks, to see the shipwrecks and pickpocket the dead. I know that this is an impossibility too far, and as the cold water curls around my ankles and then my knees, I realise that I’m feeling for the first time. We go under into a deep blue and I cannot breathe. I stumble along, in the vague direction of the skeletons of ships, seaweed waving us away, until your heel nudges me in the hip. You’re pointing in the direction of a metal husk, with eyeless sockets where the Captain’s bridge used to be, and a broken bow like a dislocated jaw.
I trudge over, but my feet are getting heavier, or you are getting heavier, or the tide is pushing us back. I turn my head to meet yours and we kiss, but I realise as our lips meet that you are struggling as well. I taste your tongue, mingling with sea water, and we break apart, our lungs convulsing as you hold me tighter than you have ever done before. Arms around my neck, my ribcage compressed and your heartbeat now beating tribally against my back.
I wake up face down. My pillows have been violently tossed out from under my head and are resting on my back where your breasts once were. There’s blood on the sheets from chewing my lips apart. I’ve gripped the sheets so hard, my fingers have pushed through. Every muscle is locked tight. I roll over with some effort and stare at the ceiling until I can escape impossibility and return to a safety I don’t want anymore.