Diary of a modern Frankenstein

“Why, lord, holy maker,
do I read made up lines over and over to distract myself”

Murder Tramp Birthday

sloth_love_by_lostpaul-d6tqcr5source

What to do with all this love drink it swallow then vomit just don’t stain the carpet,
and what to do with all this wanting honey just cough it up
so you might drink it again.
All I ever learned was how to defend myself from others
but not how to let go.

I will always be half present,
half alive, birthing someone else
I feel so much yet I gain so little-

No. Eat. Swallow. Tuck in my tears behind my eyelids,
never let them know
I am haunted by thoughts I’ve banished
they grow stronger in my absence
then return to devour me
but I will smile, thread, needle and lies
and gory intestines smeared over sewn shut lips

Why, lord, holy maker,
do I read made up lines over and over to distract myself
and cling to everything I can find, why can’t I let go
without…

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